A Challenge Now for Single Awareness Day

I thought about a day that I never before really thought about or did much outside of a nice card and a special meal, but I thought about single awareness day today when someone brought it up.  It made me wonder if I will ever have someone to buy a card for, to touch, or to celebrate history with.  It is about more than the physical component, but I do wonder if at 52 I am done with that aspect of my life.  While I realize that if I were to relax my moral compass, that aspect would be an easy fix,  for me that is not the way I am going to honor myself, the man who loved me well for 23 years, or the faith I carry.  So, single awareness day?


Is there ever a more canned holiday where a single person gets his/her nose crammed into the very fact that they have no one and that they are all ALONE—loser style?  If  a person knew that they had one Valentine’s Day left with a loved one, they would make it count, would they not?  Life is unpredictable.  How does a person know when that moment when they will cease to be?  Thus, I have a challenge for my single friends and for my friends in a relationship. 


First, if you are in a relationship, what specific thing can you do to put yourself out there?  What can you give that does not necessarily cost money, but commits you to time, effort, or observation?  Simply put, how can you put the other person first? 


Phil was not romantic by nature, or so he though, but his acts added up to a grand slam.  He got up before me every day to make me coffee and bring me the paper in bed.  I am a morning person, he was not.  When the children were young, he rushed home from work to give me a running break.  He walked in and I ran out.  When we had no money, he invested in running shoes for me just because running made me happy.  You see, we didn’t have any money for most of our marriage, and I didn’t get flowers, chocolates (I am okay with that), or really fancy baubles (until much later), but I would take those two things over any other thing he could have done for me. 


Show up and be fully present.  I miss the way his eyes lit up when I walked into a room even after 23 years.  I miss the excited timbre of his voice when he greeted me.  I miss the laughter and walking into a restaurant with five children in tow and Phil asking for the most romantic table in the house.  I miss it all, but I am thankful I have that paradigm to look at to measure what devotion and commitment means—not expensive things—just time and investment.


Which brings me to being single and my year of hope.  I will be alone on single awareness day.  I am not going to have a pity party of one.  Am I lonely and wanting more?  You bet, so I am growing myself.  I am going to keep my eyes focused in the weeks ahead as to how I can do something random and anonymously for another person.  My love gift.  My second component is harder….to believe in myself and in the woman Phil loved.  I am going to order salmon from the seafood place down the street (or an egg plant pizza), paint my nails sparkly, and I am going to appreciate what I have versus what I do not have.  I am thankful, so thankful I did have love once.  I believe it will happen again, but I am not a casual encounter kind of girl.  I want it all.

My challenge is twofold.  DO something for someone else with whom you have no return expectation.  If you are married, do something that means something versus costs something.  If you are celebrating single awareness day, do something anonymously and randomly for someone else.  The second component is loving yourself.  What is it that you need to do to make yourself happy or a better version of you?  Make the day count and if you need a place to celebrate single awareness, come to me.  We will celebrate together.



Please post the random act for all of us so that we can be inspired.  If you want to share your love action this year or a year past, do that so that we can celebrate that too.  “Two are better than one, because they have good return for their work:  if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity a man who falls and he has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone.  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecc4:9-12).”


  1. Wish I knew how to edit–forgive the mistakes of a very tired Linda.

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